Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan Review - Salman Khan and Eid Both Deserve Better

Salman Khan is back at his favourite festival (Eid) to rock the box office with Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan. Let's be practical for a moment and talk about a few of his last Eid releases. Radhe (saved by OTT), Bharat, Race 3, and Tubelight—it's been 4 Eids since we got a good film from Salman bhai. It all started with Wanted (2009), and then Dabangg (2010) just made it bigger. Besides the box office, these two films were loved by audiences and have been repeatedly watched on TV over the years. Then came average flicks like Bodyguard, Ek Tha Tiger, and Kick—but none of them were, like, too bad. Bajrangi Bhaijaan went on to become Salman's biggest hit since HAHK (1994), and deservingly so, and Sultan was the last Eid release of Salman Khan that actually exploded at the box office. Just like the last 4 Eid releases, Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan also disappoints, but the bigger problem is the film coming at the wrong time—post-pandemic and boycott trends making it difficult for Bollywood films. Salman fans had trended against Dabangg 3, yet the film was made, and we all know the box office results. The same die-hard fans once trended against KEKD (the tentative title back then), and now we have the film releasing today. Unfortunately, I think the fate of the film was sealed by fans even before it was made. I'll be happy if the film works, which seems difficult, but yes, I'll be happy for the team. But seriously, this needs to stop at once. A superstar like Salman Khan and his crazy fans deserve better. If not classics, then at least good crowd-pleasing entertainers.Inspired by a cringe flick Veeram (2014), Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan is about Bhaijaan (Salman Khan) and his three brothers, Ishq (Raghav Juyal), Moh (Siddharth Nigam), and Love (Jassie Gill). They are all orphans, but Bhaijaan gave them shelter and loved them more than any biological brother. These three fall in love with three girls and want to marry, but since Bhaijaan is unmarried because of them, ultimately they can't marry. So, they plan to bring the lost love of his life back, which has a surprising and nostalgic cameo. However, it doesn't work, but then God sends a replacement, Bhagya (Pooja Hegde). Three brothers, their three girlfriends, and three aids around them try to set things up between Bhaijaan and Bhagya. But their mill-of-the-run love story has an angle—Bhagya's elder brother Annayya (Venkatesh) is a non-violent person, whereas the love of her life, aka her Jaan, is a hardcore violent man. Will Bhagya's family accept Bhaijaan since he has to be violent to save the family?The screenplay of Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan is similar to Veeram. Frankly speaking, Veeram is an unbearable film—even for its time (2014). It's just so outdated. Can somebody think of remaking the outdated film after almost a decade? Time doesn't stop for anyone. Haven't we seen this formula in classics like Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi (1958) and Godfather (1991)—and its remakes, and many more other films? That's the major reason why both remakes of Veeram flopped at the box office (KKBKKJ is the third). Farhad Samji, Sparsh Khetarpal, and Tasha Bhambra took everything from the cringe classic and then tried to give it a new twist in the end, but it was too late by then. The dialogues are irritating as hell. It's just getting worse after Race 3 and Radhe for Salman Khan fans. I mean, I can't believe that from Wanted's "Ek Baar Maine Commitment Kar Di," Dabangg's "Hum Yaha ke Robinhood Hai," Bodyguard's "Mujhpar Ek Ehsaan Karna," Kick's "Mere bare mein itna mat sochna," to many others, they have to tolerate this. I mean, who the hell translates Maathafodi to "brainstorming"? "Begaani shaadi me abdulla dewaana" phrase is turned into "Bhaijaan ki shaadi me Ram Deewana"? Lol. Pooja calling Salman Jaan can be understood, but her grandmother calls him Jaam too. Seriously? Vande Mataram felt so irritating for the first time, all thanks to this film. Who approved these things on paper? Even the burned copies of KKBKKJ's screenplay and dialogues shouldn't be allowed inside the SKF office. I may sound brutal here, but it's all for their own good. I hope the next films of SKF will deliver the kind of content they delivered with Bajrangi Bhaijaan, and then I'll have only good things to write about.Talking about performances, that Salman Khan we saw in Wanted, Dabangg, BB and Sultan seems a little lost nowadays. He has three looks in the film, and he makes sure he looks dashing in every single one. Girls can go crazy over his head scarf, biceps in a half tee, long hair, trimmed beard, and clean-shaven look, while boys can either feel a male crush or feel jealous. But what about delivering as an actor? In a couple of scenes, he suddenly starts crying, and you have no idea what's going on. I am not sure whom to blame for that. The writer, the director, or Salman Khan. Pooja Hegde is getting on everyone's nerves nowadays. Salman's films have always been sophisticated and clean, but in this film, you'll see one character go abusive, and that's Pooja Hegde. Radhe Shyam, Beast, Acharya, Cirkus, and now KKBKKJ. She is going through the worst phase of her career, and that's understandable, but how can she get worse and worse with every new film? If Corona can stop after three waves, then this needs to stop after 5 attacks now. Jagapathi Babu is overloud, Vijender Singh is wasted, Satish Kaushik brings nothing new except for a sentimental pleasure, Aasif Sheikh passes the screen frequently, and Venkatesh literally has a tepid role. I couldn't bear seeing cute young boys like Siddhart Nigam, Raghav Juyal, and Jassie Gill fighting like rowdys, and their girlfriends, Palak Tiwari, Shehnaaz Gill, and Vinali Bhatnagar, are best suited for daily soaps with one or two dialogue they have.The music is good here. Naiyo Lagda, Billi Billi, and Yentamma look good and sound nice to the ears. However, it's just too much oil for fritters. As mentioned before, the screenplay is boring, and then there are 6-7 songs to make it more boring and lengthy. It's like having multiple intermissions for one film because people were going out to take a break while songs were playing. The photography is strictly average, while the action sequences are well executed, especially the climax fight sequence. Farhad Samji's direction is the biggest weakness of Kisi Ka Bhai Kisi Ki Jaan. He may be a good writer, or rather, I'd say he is a good writer, but direction? Sorry boss. Stop taking audiences for granted. Housefull 4 was saved by franchise value and the genre; Bachchhan Paandey received what was due; Pop Kaun has been slammed right, left, up, and down; and now he played with feelings of the "BHAIJAAN" word. Salman fans will never forgive him, and neither will neutral moviegoers. Kisi ka script, kisi ka production, kyu barbaad karne ka?