Akshay Kumar and Raj Mehta team up for the second time after a super hit Good Newwz for Selfiee, but it seems that the news is not good this time. Lal Jr's Malayalam flick Driving Licence (2019) is not a sensation enough to get a remake, but sadly, our Hindi filmmakers had different thoughts. Unfortunately, I had to write this thing the very next week after Shehzada turned into a disaster—another South remake of a mediocre film. The choices went wrong, I guess. Driving Licence earned what, 20 crores maybe? That's usually what a decent opening day collects for the Akshay Kumar movie. Doesn't it sound horrible now? I am afraid they might need Abhimanyu Singh's character to do some black magic to save this one.Selfiee sees Akshay Kumar in the role of Prithviraj Sukumaran and Emraan Hashmi in a reprisal of Suraj Venjaramoodu. The first step goes wrong here because you just cannot have Emraan replace Suraj Venjaramoodu. At least, look at the age difference. Anyways, for those who haven't seen the original Malayalam flick, Selfiee is about a superstar and a fan who are pitted against each other over a childish misunderstanding. Superstar Vijay Kumar (Akshay Kumar) is in Bhopal for the shoot of his film, and there lives one of his biggest fans ever, Om Prakash Aggarwal (Emraan Hashmi). So, as destiny has it, Vijay Kumar needs a driving licence, which Om Prakash can provide easily, but there is a common kick to it. He wants a selfie with his superstar, his God. Somehow, things go out of hand after a small misunderstanding that pits these two against each other. The battle of fan vs. superstar flashes everywhere in the media, and now it's not a public battle but a fight of their egos. Who will have the final laugh?If you have seen the original Malayalam flick, then there is nothing for you in Selfiee (except for the surrogacy thing). Rather, it gets even duller because you are seeing all those things for the second time and because Driving Licence hardly has any repeat value. But for the freshers, it might be an interesting affair. However, there are flaws in that too. The screenplay is at fault for being too slow after several intervals. The mistakes that overlapped in DL haven't been rectified here. Who knows all those questions man? And why would someone turn it into a game of KBC? Why the hell do all those people wait with bated breath for the answers as if they never had a driving licence for themselves? That night flight for New York is suddenly rescheduled to the afternoon? Why don't our writers rectify mistakes made by South films? Why do we just have to copy and paste things despite knowing that some things lack logic there? Just because it worked there doesn't mean it will be fine here. Driving Licence was not a flawless film, but Selfiee is even more problematic with forceful jokes, cheap humor, and repetitive gags. The comedy works in some parts, but like I said, it's a long film, so you are entitled to get bored after a while.Talking about performances, Akshay Kumar playing himself, a superstar on screen, is a treat to watch, but I am not sure if any superstar really has that kind of humour in real life. It's a cinematic liberty, as they call it, but sadly, we don't have any specific category to review performances according to that. Yes, you will enjoy Akshay Kumar's comedy, but he is quite dull in the emotional scenes. It's contrary to Emraan's case. He is strong in emotional scenes but lacks comic timing. Reprising Suraj Sir is a tough job; I believe even Emraan knows it. Nushrratt Bharuccha is cute as a chatterbox wife, but it's not a performance oriented role like she had in Chorri and Janhit Mein Jaari. The most hilarious person in the film is Abhimanyu Singh. I mean, what did he eat before filming his scenes? Diana Penty, Mahesh Thakur, and Meghna Malik haven't got much to do. The hottest figure in Selfiee has to be Mrunal Thakur. How sexy she looks! Someone please cast her as the lead in such a glamorous avatar.Selfiee has Main Khiladi 2.0 as the only saving grace, while other songs are barely okay. Kudiyee Ni Teri Vibe was designed as a peppy song that celebrates the stardom of Vijay Kumar, but there is hardly anything foot-tapping about it. It's too slow for the vibes of a celebration song (something like Dhinka Chika or Lungi Dance). The editing is below par, as the drama doesn't hold you throughout the narrative. You get some hilarious dialogues after every 15 minutes, and you'll remember them as the best things you have seen in the film. But was that cheap and kiddish humour really needed? The fart thing, the Masoode Wali Smile, A big fan segment, and Arnab Goswami's replication–all these things aren't organic ways of doing comedy. Who else but Raj Mehta knew it better? The man who gave us probably the most organic comedy in recent times (Good Newwz), has to go down to this level to make people laugh? It's not a downfall then! It's degrading your own standard. Jug Jugg Jeeyo and now Selfiee: Raj Mehta has forgotten the great talent he owns.
What happened to that Raj Mehta of Good Newwz? Aren't we going to get more good news from him? Okay, so just between you and me, the moment I came out of watching Good Newwz, I called it a super hit. The moment I walked out of Jug Jugg Jeeyo, I bet that it wouldn't become a Hit. Both times, I was proven right. Now, the moment I left the audi from Selfiee screening, I told my friend that it would be worse than JJJ. Let's see if I am proven right in a few days. Dear Raj Mehta, please go back to the GN zone. Our industry doesn't have any directors who make healthy organic comedies after Rajkumar Hirani. You have Akshay Kumar, the king of the comedy genre, so we expect something really high-class. Not something mediocre like Selfiee, and definitely not a remake. I hope my voice reaches you and you and Akshay Kumar both come back stronger. For now, Selfiee remains an average stuff. In sarcastic language, aka Kataksh, "This Selfiee is Blur".